Elaine Fraser
I first met Elaine Fraser ten years ago in Italy, at The Art of Writing, a weeklong writers' retreat in the hills of Tuscany. Elaine, who lives in Perth, Australia, may be oceans away, but our paths have crossed many times since. We even spent an unforgettable summer together in Florence, where we pretended we were locals—meeting up for morning cappuccinos and working at a library with the most breathtaking view of the Duomo.
This summer, Elaine came to Sharon Springs, and I had the joy of finally photographing her in my studio. Elaine is a world traveler, an accomplished writer, and, most importantly, a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you, Elaine, for your treasured friendship. I can’t wait for our next adventure!
What really matters to you?
Life is too short to be inauthentic. In a world where truth is relative, finding truth and honesty is rare.
The people I love the most are the most real. As Margery Williams writes in The Velveteen Rabbit, ‘Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.’
In terms of finding my place in my family and friendships or in the writing world–in any arena of life–being real has been the best journey of all. Showing up as my real self in all areas of my life has taken a while. Being honest about my dreams, my weaknesses, my mistakes, my capacity or lack of it, my personality drivers, emotions, and all the shades of my life has been hard at times.
Perhaps it’s getting older, but I care less about my image or what people may think of me. Being real has allowed me to accept myself in all my shabbiness and to show up as me, regardless of the situation. I’ve dined with billionaires in Paris and with children from the slums in Cambodia and have presented myself as the same person.
There’s a freedom in being real.
What brings you happiness?
Travel lights me up. I love exploring the world and meeting new people and the friendships I’ve made around the world bring me great delight. I don’t think I’ll stop travelling unless I’m physically incapable of doing so.
Closer to home, the smallest moments bring joy. Holding my beautiful grandson, holding hands with my husband, seeing my children thrive, the golden hour of sunset, writing words on a page, and reading a great book all bring great joy. At the end of the day, the everyday joys are the ones that matter most.
Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it. —Mary Oliver
What are some of the biggest challenges you have faced?
During the Covid years, I lost myself a little. Being unable to travel and separated from family and friends was more unsettling than I thought. The first year was okay. I completed three books I’d been putting off. But then, when I finished them, I found it very hard to get back into serious writing. I found my mental health started to suffer. I’d had a few patches earlier in life where I’d struggled with mental health, however, this was deeper. I realised that past trauma and issues had been either numbed or stuffed down into the recesses of my mind. I’ve learnt that you can run from the past but it eventually catches up with you. Therapy is helping me to finally deal with things and it’s bringing an authenticity into my life that hurts at times, but growth comes through pain.
It’s a journey finding myself again but I’m building a foundation for the next season of life.
What would you change if you could?
I would stop wars that create devastation and trauma for all those affected–especially children growing up in war zones and displaced people.
I would give free therapy to all.
I would take the extremes of our polarised world and create spaces where people can genuinely listen to each other. Maybe we’d find the common ground in the middle where we can live in peace.
What single word do you identify with?
Adventure. Relationships are an adventure. Travel is an adventure. Friendships are an adventure. Authenticity is an adventure. Travel is an adventure. Life is an adventure.
ADVENTURE
When I’m coaching writers, I tell them that the story is in the struggle. When we create characters and put them into plots, they grow through the challenges in life. It’s the same for us in real life. If there’s no struggle there’s no story. No light without darkness, no sunshine without rain and so on. These dichotomies bring light and shade into our lives.
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I’ve lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. —Diane Ackerman
Thank you Elaine!
About Elaine:
Elaine Fraser discovered her passion for writing at the age of ten and later pursued a degree in English and Education. After years of teaching high school English, she transitioned to full-time writing in 2005. Elaine has since published eight books, including her inspirational non-fiction works Beautiful: Beauty Tips for the Soul and Too Beautiful: More Beauty Tips for the Soul. She is also known for her Beautiful Lives YA series, which tackles real-life issues with a spiritual edge. In addition to writing, Elaine is an international speaker, including a TEDx talk in San Francisco, and mentors emerging writers globally. When not traveling, she enjoys writing, reading, and mentoring from her home in the Perth hills.